I don’t know what it is about the weekend. I so look forward to it during the week.
I wandered Home Depot for HOURS. I was trying to keep myself occupied. But I slowly began crying. I couldn’t even say why.
I’m just so deeply sad. And mad. And distrustful. And super lonely.
I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving week and what I’ll do to not be alone. I used to go to my friends’ house here for Thanksgiving- the ones who are no longer my friends. I thought of going to my best friend’s house, but I just spent a week there this summer and a week there at Christmas. I don’t want to wear out my welcome. I just get so much joy from being with her family. Her, her husband, her children…they equal safety, joy, and acceptance for me.
I need to do something else though because I really fear bothering them by going too much.
I need to just get through the next hour.