I’m not quite sure how to describe what happened tonight. I think it was a surprise party…?
I feel like I didn’t respond quite the way people wanted, but I was so shocked that I couldn’t do anything but stand there and smile. And hug people. And say thank you.
These are my church people and I was just stunned to see everyone there. I’m still digesting it all. I couldn’t thank everyone enough.
As I was driving home, I was trying really hard to remember- I don’t think I’ve ever had a surprise party before. But y’know what? I did. One time a “friend” told me how unattractive I was. Once I confided in my best friend how much this had hurt my feelings, she made this other “friend” work with her to arrange a surprise “Chloe, you’re beautiful” party. 😂 It was just the two of them and myself. Yep. That’s the only surprise party aside from tonight that I’ve ever had.
So this one was really special. I came home, read and reread cards, rewatched a video message from some long distance friends, and admired the balloons I got to take home. I felt like a little kid- I really enjoyed it.
The entire night was surreal though. I felt completely out of it. I cried a few times, but only one person saw it once. I fake smiled the whole time…not that I didn’t want to smile- it was just nearly impossible for my face to do it. I think…I hope I did a good job of showing appreciation.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…how these people all came together. Wow.
I don’t deserve it. But I feel lucky. And I’m forever grateful to all these wonderful people.
I wish I could make myself happy. I wish things like this could give me lingering joy…