DNR

Published July 30, 2017 by Chloe Madison

Completely devastated….   The real truth hurts. And it’s hitting me really, really hard.  😖 Words so empty and hollow that only now am I feeling the painful echo.

My head and my heart are writhing as this reality sinks in. I feel so defeated.

Utterly and hopelessly alone.

.

I don’t understand how people are expected to make a comeback after things like this. “Things” are all these experiences in life of abuse/ rape. I just don’t know how people do it. It seems impossible to me.

I don’t want to go home. There’s no such place as “home.” 

I don’t want to face another birthday alone. Is that all there is to life? Every meal alone. Day after day alone. Weeks, months, years. I’ve been alone now for eight years. 

EIGHT.  

YEARS. 

You can’t act like there’s hope just around the corner or hope in God. It NEVER f*cking comes. Everything just continues to deteriorate. This hopelessness is not life. I refuse to do this.

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2 comments on “DNR

  • Being alone really sucks, but you’re never as alone as you feel. You’ve got a community here, use us. And turns out that a lot of people are jerks anyway, so you aren’t missing too much! 😜

    -Ophelia

  • sometimes the deepest pain makes us fell alone in a room full of people – i know for me it has been this way although most people would never guess – i sometime find being alone for a walk or sitting on a park bench just watching nature helps me separate being alone and loneliness for me they are related but not the same thing.

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